dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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