I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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