That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize