If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
