I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Are my feet made of real feet?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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