Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize