Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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