my mouth tastes like poor choices
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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