She's like a pop up book from hell.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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