whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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