She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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