i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize