Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
