I think i peed on brittanys purse
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
