my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I looked at my own cervix.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
