What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
