? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
