sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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