I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
