Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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