New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
