If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize