There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
