so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
