We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
