I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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