Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize