hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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