Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
