I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
send nudes
from the living room?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
