I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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