I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
