she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
