Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
