I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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