I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
