i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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