of course. lets lasso hookers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
