I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
