He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
