dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
