Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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