Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The power of my boobs compel you
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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