This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
