we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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