ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
