I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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