gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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