Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
i out mim tonsoeep
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