I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
