a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
me + whiskey = a bad person
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize