I wannas sexs uuuuu
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
