I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
