I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
