I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
