you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
