I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize