white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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