you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
