she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
