I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
