I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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