Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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