Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
do nipples grow back?
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