Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
NoShamevember. You game?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
