Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
