You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
