it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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