My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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