We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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